I was young, probably sixth grade, so a lot of the details are fuzzy, but I'll never forget him standing there in Summit Place Mall (currently known as Scummet Place). Since that day we've gotten together on several separate occasions, different holidays for stints of two or three hours. I remember meeting his new wife for the first time, a spontaneous red head who outranks anyone I know in the realm of physical activity and pure, unabashed energy levels. I think though, the first time we really met, in other words, the first time we really knew each other, is when I went out to visit him in Seattle, WA.
To set the scene I was a book worm in college, struggling (in the most relaxed definition of the word) to find an identity that I was comfortable with. I was not active, I didn't run, bike, jump, swim, climb or even really walk that much. I was always under the impression that having severe asthma and allergies as a child I couldn't do these things. So for the most part I gamed, I read, I drank (in healthy amounts) and I hung out with my girl friend at the time. Obviously, I worked and went to class too. There was nothing though, that I really felt defined me, I didn't even have a drivers license. In July I had a week to go out and visit him, I would fly out there and spend about 5 days.
If you've ever flown into Seattle you know that there is nothing like seeing Mt. Rainier protruding up past the clouds, nothing like seeing the Mountain Ranges crowd the night lights of the city. It was dark so I was unaware of my surroundings, but I could tell by his excitement that this place meant a lot to my dad. He couldn't wait until it was light outside and I could see the natural beauty in everything around me. I closed my eyes and imagined my dad, not much older than I am now, coming to seek shelter in this city. It seemed really comforting, all of the mountains paternally towering over you. My dad lives a little less than an hour outside of Seattle, he told me to look out the window when I woke up in the morning. When I did, there was a straight up mountain outside...well not a mountain mountain, but being from Southeast Michigan it was the closest I've ever been to one. It was a truly perfect setting to find myself in.
Over the next few days, my dad and I set about exploring one another. This was the longest we've ever spent together so we talked while we hiked, watched movies, went fishing, hooked the dog up to the mountain board and let it pull us down a dirt path (though, there wasn't that much talking during that last activity). He showed me his favorite spots on the river, where he lived when he first moved there, a couple goofy tourist spots and the best, most breathtaking view of Mt. Rainier. He introduced me to some amazing characters; his best friend he lived with for awhile, his Montana bred boss named Cleave, and his incredibly capable dog Max. Every person and every place I met I experienced as a part of my dad's narrative and subsequently as a part of mine. Everything out there became a part of me and remains that way to this day.
One of the last days out there my dad took me surfing. The weather was colder (not compared to Michigan though, suck it up people!) so there was no one out there, but us. We used his paddle board to try and ride out some waves, but surfing is tough and the paddle board was big and cumbersome. He was able to paddle his way out there and ride out a couple of waves. I'm sure if you surf, that may not be impressive, but if you've never surfed in your life, take my word for it, it was an incredibly difficult task. I tried and got my ass formally and politely handed back to me every time. Each time I washed back up on shore my dad would fine tune everything I did, pick me back up, show me a better way to stand or mount the board, then send me right back out. He probably watched me take a beating about 30 times before finally I got up and rode a wave about 25 feet back to shore. The whole time I was on the board I watched him jumping for joy and pointing in my direction. That moment meant the most to me, I felt a true sense of pride swell up in me, pride in being his son and I felt a pride swell in him too, that pride met mine and they crashed together like the waves on the shore.
When I came back to Michigan there was a fire in me. I picked up mountain biking and rock climbing. I began running almost everyday. I saw this untapped athletic potential and I meant to use it. Not only that, but I got my drivers license, I took to my job and my school with a new passion. I discovered this identity that existed in the mold of my dad's. I no longer feared disappointment from others or guilt, the pride in me burned away the old and left room for a new Kyle. I filled this space with confidence, happiness, awareness and acceptance. Everyday I am more and more comfortable with myself for this reason. Having known my dad in this capacity has been and will be the single greatest thing to ever happen to me.
When I went back into Planet Rock after shoveling the parking lot, I wasn't just warm, I was burning from the same fire lit two years ago.
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